Seedy Bar Surprises
by BuzzCat
Summary: Darcy needed a night off and got a little more than she bargained for. Of course, the surprises just keep coming when Steve brings home a friend eight months later.
1. Chapter 1

Darcy flopped onto her couch. Shit. Double shit. This was not what she had planned. Not that she had really planned anything but… She sighed and looked at where she had thrown the source of her problems. A positive pregnancy test was on the coffee table. Darcy groaned and turned until her face was pressed into the couch. She was so not ready for this. She was not ready for a baby. She didn't even know where to find the father. He had been a quick fuck, picked up and left in a bar. A quickie in the bathroom of a dive bar that no respectable person frequented. Of course, Darcy hadn't been feeling particularly respectable that day. A shit day at work and a need to not be surrounded by SHIELD agents or Avengers had had her throwing on a dress that was entirely indecent, heels that hurt, and a red lipstick made for leaving marks and she had gone to the seediest bar in town. She'd found him there, dark hair and fucking built. The rest of the details were a little fuzzy, as she'd been pretty drunk at the time. But she definitely remembered being pushed against a tiled wall and being fucking within an inch of her life. She also remembered straightening her clothes as she stepped into a cab, the dark haired man paying the cabbie and winking as she drove away. That had been almost two months ago, long enough for Darcy to have realized that tall-dark-and-handsome was possibly the worst description to have when looking for someone. It was also long enough for her to miss her period and, recently, start throwing up in the morning.

Just then, JARVIS called into the room,

"Miss Lewis, Doctor Foster requesting to be allowed in."

"Mrumph." said Darcy into the couch. She had run out of Jane's office earlier that day so she could throw up in the nearest biohazard box. She opened one eye to glare at the test still on her table. With a groan, Darcy sat up. It hadn't even fully sunk into her what had happened. She grabbed the test and quickly threw it into a garbage can.

"Let her in, J."

"Yes, Miss Lewis." The door clicked and Jane pushed it open,

"Darcy?"

"Yeah?" she said, walking around the couch to see Jane.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I think I had some bad sushi last night or something." Darcy was needed a moment to process and a baby-crazy astrophysicist was so not what she needed right then. Jane nodded,

"Do you want the rest of the day off?"

"Yeah, thanks. Still feeling a little green around the gills." Darcy must have actually looked sick because Jane nodded,

"Alright. Feel better. Do you mind if I come by after work?"

"Yeah. Bring soup or something." said Darcy. Jane nodded and waved, closing the door behind her. Darcy sat back on the couch. Fuck. She was going to be a mom.

Six months later, Darcy's life had officially changed. She was eight months pregnant. She hadn't had caffeine or alcohol in months. Jane had kicked her out of the office and she had been sentenced to collating data in the communal living room at Avengers Tower. Of course, that left lots of time for cat videos, which Darcy wasn't complaining about. On the other hand, her boobs had practically doubled in size, which was not fun. Darcy shifted slightly and the baby moved, punching at her kidneys. Darcy winced,

"Chill out, kid. I've got homework." The baby didn't heed her words and shifted until Darcy sighed and put her laptop to the side. The baby only quieted when she walked around. Jane had a theory that it was like being rocked to sleep. Darcy was just sick of having to walk around with an extra forty pounds hanging off her front and swollen ankles. She walked to the kitchen and opened the cupboard. She growled when she realized someone had moved her tea from the bottom shelf to the top, where a poor short pregnant lady like herself couldn't reach it. She stretched on her tiptoes but quickly found that her large belly prevented her from getting close enough to the counter to actually reach anything. A hairy hand reached up from behind her and grabbed the box she'd been straining for. Darcy turned to Bruce Banner, one eyebrow raised,

"Darcy, what is conveniently located in the corner of the kitchen?"

"A stepstool." said Darcy like a kid who'd been caught their hand in the cookie jar.

"And why do we have a stepstool?" asked Bruce.

"So Tony can reach the second shelf." said Darcy. Bruce smirked and handed her the box of tea,

"True. But still."

"I know, I know. Thanks for grabbing it." said Darcy, filling the kettle, "You want some as well?"

"Please." said Bruce, sitting down at the table. Darcy grabbed two mugs and put a teabag in each. She paced slowly through the kitchen.

"Baby being restless again?" Bruce asked. Darcy nodded,

"I swear, this thing is more active than I've been in my life."

"Well, it's probably getting a little confined. You're due in, what, three weeks?" he said. Darcy nodded,

"Three weeks until I get to scream and basically defy the laws of what humans can physically due. And speaking of defying the laws of human limits…" said Darcy as Steve Rogers walked into the kitchen. He smiled,

"Hey Darce. How're you feeling?"

"Oh, you know. Pregnant. Cranky. Like an incubator." she said. Steve smiled. Darcy and Steve had had an easy camaraderie since she had moved into the Tower. For the first couple of weeks, Darcy had thought there was a chance of them being more than friends, but Steve was so absorbed with finding his friend that Darcy knew better than to get wrapped up in that crazy-fest. They'd stayed close friends though. When the baby kept her up, she'd talk him through a few of his nightmares and when her feet were killing her, he massaged them. It was a good trade. Steve looked behind him, nervousness overtaking his face,

"Guys, I want you to meet a friend of mine. Darcy, Bruce, this is Bucky." Bucky walked out of the hall and Darcy gasped. It was the guy from the bar eight months ago. His gaze flicked to her and his pupils widened slightly, but there was no other indication that he recognized her. Steve looked between the pair of them,

"You know each other?"

"…sorta." said Darcy. She stepped forward slowly. Bucky watched her but said nothing. Darcy stopped a few feet out,

"Do you remember me?" she asked. Bucky nodded,

"Darcy. Dress," he frowned, "Bathroom?" he asked. Darcy flushed,

"Yeah." Bucky's eyes dropped to her abdomen. A hand came up, reaching toward her belly. He looked at her questioningly,

"Mine?"

"Yeah." said Darcy with a relieved sigh. There was a shattering behind her and before Darcy knew what had happened, Bucky had pulled her behind him and he was sweeping the area for the cause of the noise. Bruce had dropped his mug and was currently turning a lovely shade of red. Darcy gingerly rubbed at Bucky's human arm,

"It's okay. It's just Bruce. We're good." she said. Bucky slowly stepped to the side, looking at her. His eyes catalogued her appearance, looking for anything wrong. He must have found nothing because he turned and glared at Bruce. It was a tense silence before Steve broke it,

"Wait, so Bucky is the father?"

"Yep. I didn't know it was him, I swear."

"Didn't the arm kind of stand out?" asked Bruce. Bucky glared at him as he pushed a button on his arm and it instantly camouflaged itself to look like skin. Bruce shrugged,

"Seemed like a legitimate question to ask." he said. Darcy looked at the group in front of her. Bruce was embarrassed, Steve utterly shocked, and Bucky strangely devoid of emotion. She bit her lip,

"Um, can you guys give Bucky and I a minute?"

"Sure. If you need anything, give a holler." said Steve. Bruce followed him out of the room. Darcy was willing to bet godparent rights that both of them were standing on the other side of the door. She didn't particularly care if they heard. It just felt more relaxed if she could at least pretend that this was a private conversation. She gestured at the couch,

"Would you like to sit down?" she asked. Bucky soundlessly moved forward and perched himself on the couch. Darcy sank into it, the baby still moving constantly. She absently brought a hand up and rubbed her side where it was kicking. Bucky watched her but said nothing. She looked up, "You can feel if you want to." He held up his hand and Darcy pressed it where the fetus was kicking. It nudged at Bucky's hand and his eyes widened. Darcy couldn't help but grin and nod at his reaction, "Yeah, it's a bit of a trip the first time around. Scared the hell out of me." she said. Bucky had no reaction to her words. Some part of her wondered if he had even spoken to her at the bar, or if it had just been unspoken mutual agreement to go fuck each other's brains out. Darcy swallowed and tried to amp up her courage,

"You don't have to be a part of this if you don't want to. I mean, this is kind of a curveball. If you want, you can join the veritable legion of uncles that this kid is going to have. Uncle Steve, Uncle Bruce, Uncle Bucky…you'll fit right in." she said, even as Bucky shook his head. He said something in Russian and his hand pushed harder against her belly, as if he was trying to make a point. Darcy's brow furrowed,

"Sorry, English is the only language I'm remotely fluent in." she said. Bucky blinked in surprise and she wondered if he even realized he'd been speaking in Russian. His speech was halting and Darcy wondered if it was because he was mentally translating everything, or if it was because talking was just that hard for him now,

"This is our child. I will be a father. You are my responsibility. This," his hand made a small circle on her belly, "is our responsibility. We will do this together. I will do my best to help." Darcy nodded. They both knew that there would be nights where he couldn't help and days when he needed help and she had a sneaking suspicion that Steve would be coerced into helping in both cases, but Bucky was going to try. They could do this.


	2. Chapter 2

That night, Darcy tossed and turned. She knew, somewhere in the colossus that was Avengers Tower, Bucky was there. Her baby's father. And he wanted to help. Frankly, the idea that he was down for this had blown her away. Sure, old-world views might have had a hand in it, but Darcy thought that Soviet brainwashing might have done away with any ideas on family values. But Bucky was here, and for now, he wanted to be a part of this. As Darcy turned to her other side, some part of her whispered that it wouldn't last. After sleepless nights of a screaming baby, changing diapers, and everything else that went along with procreation, she wouldn't be at all surprised if Bucky decided to bow out. He had brainwashing to deal with, for Christ's sake. Darcy wouldn't think less of him.

And yet, she would. She knew she would. After all, she was hardly equipped to handle a child. She'd gotten pregnant from a one-hour-stand in a bar bathroom while she was drunk. No part of that said 'responsible adult'. Darcy knew that. She huffed and punched her pillow into shape. When she'd first gotten pregnant, she'd thought about adoption. She could even keep it in-house; she knew that Tony and Pepper were trying for a kid without much success. Jane and Thor had just had the baby-talk and decided that they were going to give it a shot. And then there was her, the only one not in a relationship and magically knocked up with zero effort. Fate had a funny way of being a bitch.

Apparently all the movement had woken up the progeny and it was currently punching any way it damn well felt. Darcy heaved a sigh and laboriously got out of bed, throwing a robe around herself and padding out into the kitchen. There was always a light on, a concession made to spies and scientists and soldiers who had spent too much time sneaking around. Darcy appreciated it now, when it meant that she didn't have to deal with blinding light at—she looked at the clock—2:18 in the morning. She opened the cupboard and was glad to see that her tea had been moved back to its original position. She set the box on the counter and turned around to grab the kettle. She gasped when she saw a dark figure standing just outside the range of the lone light. Without thinking, she lobbed the empty kettle at it and ducked behind the counter. The clang of the kettle made her stick her head up. A metal hand had grabbed it. She sighed and pulled herself up with a grunt,

"Dammit Bucky. We need to get you a damn bell." she said, stepping around the island to grab the kettle from his hand. Bucky followed her back into the light,

"Sorry." he said. Darcy shrugged and filled the kettle, putting it on the stove,

"'S fine. Probably don't want to make too much noise at night around here anyway. Found out that Steve's a really light sleeper and an absolute grouch if he doesn't get his beauty sleep." she said. The corners of Bucky's mouth quirked up,

"I remember." It caught Darcy off-guard. She nodded to herself as she pulled down a mug,

"Of course you do." Her feet already hurt. She made a face and balanced on one foot, moving her other ankle in circles. Bucky watched her movement and before Darcy could say a thing, he swooped her up bridal-style. She barely suppressed a shriek and hissed,

"James Barnes you put me down right now or so help me I'll—" He lowered her to the couch, gently setting her down before putting her feet in his lap. He moved his hands, one to the top of her foot and one around the bottom,

"May I?" he asked. Darcy stared for a moment, then nodded. His hands started moving and she couldn't suppress a groan as her head fell back. If Steve's foot rubs were good, Bucky's were heavenly. They stayed like that for a moment before Bucky said,

"Steve. Said this was good."

"Yeah. I always commandeer him to rub my feet. He whined about it, but when I told him it was the responsibility of the godfather, he shut up pretty fast." she said with a grin, remembering his face when she told him her decision. Bucky nodded, then his brow furrowed,

"You and Steve…courting?"

"Hm?" said a sleepy Darcy. Then his words hit her and she shook her head, "Oh. Nah, just close friends. That'd be weird, if I was pregnant with your baby and accidentally dating your best friend. God, sounds like a soap opera." said Darcy, throwing an arm across her face. Bucky moved his ministrations to her other foot and Darcy practically purred,

"Fucking hell, you're so much better at this than Steve." She opened an eye to see him staring at her and smirking just a bit. She grabbed a pillow and hit his arm,

"Oh, shut up." Bucky stood and went to the kitchen, returning shortly with a mug of tea. Darcy accepted it and held it on top of her breasts. The warmth spread through her core and she closed her eyes in bliss. The warmth, combined with Bucky's work, made her want to melt into the couch. When she lazily cracked an eye again, she saw Bucky staring intently at her belly. She smiled and put a hand atop the mound of her abdomen,

"I'm due in three weeks," she said quietly, "I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. I didn't ask. Wanted a surprise." she said. Bucky nodded at her words. Darcy bit her lip, "Um, when I deliver, you probably shouldn't be there." Bucky looked at her, hurt in his eyes. She set the mug on the coffee table behind her and did her best to sit up, her hands flying to his shoulder, "No, it's not that I don't want you to be. It's just, you know, I'm going to be screaming. A lot. And cursing. And you have some pretty hyped-up protective instincts that could cause absolute mayhem in the delivery room. I don't want to stress you out more and it would stress me out more, worrying about stressing you out. It's a great big ball of stress that I don't want to deal with while trying to push a miniature human through a hole that it is not supposed to fit through." said Darcy, trying to make Bucky understand. She didn't want to start out this relationship—or whatever it was—with a miscommunication. Bucky's hurt expression cleared, but it hardened into frustration. He nodded all the same. Darcy sighed and swung her feet out of his lap. Now sitting upright on the couch, she leaned her head against his shoulder and pulled his arm until it was around her,

"I want you to know that, even if this is gonna be really hard and probably going to suck sometimes, I'm glad it's you I picked up in that bar." She felt Bucky sigh deeply beneath her. She felt his voice rumble beneath her hand,

"Thought I picked you up." She laughed and smacked his chest,

"Jackass. There's no way in hell you could have got a piece of this unless I picked you first." Bucky chuckled just a little as well, but that little bit was more progress than Darcy had expected. He inclined his head until his cheek was barely brushing her hair,

"Glad you picked me up too."


End file.
